we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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