i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
