We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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