He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
