Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
