A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
