i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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