Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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