Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
