I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
