just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
