Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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