Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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