break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
