Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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