ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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