I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize