I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
