Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
