call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
