Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
