You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
