I think I died a long time ago.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize