They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
