Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
