we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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