oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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