You can't special order awesome
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
