im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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