Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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