$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
