wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize