anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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