i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
