By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
