We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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