i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
