i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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