So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
