Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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