I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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