Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
