I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize