You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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