how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
