singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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