So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
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cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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