I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
