Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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