Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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