It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
