it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
false alarm, still single
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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