hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
