I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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