...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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