I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
