It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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