Will you blow on my dice?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
