Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
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