my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
