I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
