You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
