I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
