Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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