You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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